Dishes.

his-waxen-wings:

lysergs-face:

Faust reached out and held Lyserg’s shoulder to keep him up. When he let go, Lyserg swayed slightly.

“I…I should talk to her. But…” Lyserg’s brows scrunched up in confusion.

“Did I say…it was Jeanne…?”

Lyserg searched frantically through his short-term memory—well, as frantically as he could, since he was impaired. Had he said Jeanne’s name…? He couldn’t recall, but honestly that didn’t mean anything right now.

“I think I…I can’t really remember if I did or not…”

Faust snorted quietly & shook his head, turning back to the dishes.  He hummed to himself for a moment before glancing at Lyserg again.

You think I don’t know what a lovesick boy looks like..?

He carefully lifted a hand from the water & gestured gently with his fingers.

Whenever she comes near you or says anything — especially if she touches you — you get this flustered look on your face, like you’ve suddenly lost the ability to think straight & like that lapse has taken over your entire body.

The doctor waved his index finger in front of his own face, pointing at his eyes as he tipped his head down more towards the boy.

It goes all the way to your eyes.

He dropped his hand back into the water, nodding once at Lyserg before turning back to scrub at a plate.

Lyserg flushed for what was probably the millionth time that night.

“I suppose it must be obvious,” he muttered. He felt rather embarrassed, but he supposed that there was nothing he could do about it. He looked down at the dish in his hand and realized that he hadn’t been focusing on cleaning. The sooner he and Faust finished, the sooner that he would be able to go to sleep. He was tired, and his head was starting to hurt.

He worked silently until they were almost done, and as he was washing the last dish he joked, “Tonight probably wouldn’t be the best time to talk to her about things, would it?”

Dishes.

his-waxen-wings:

Lyserg kept pausing, drawing out his sentences as he grew more noticeably flustered.  Faust suppressed a snort & kept an eye on the boy, mentally willing him to not actually crash his head into the counter.  The doctor reached out a hand & braced him by the shoulder.

Easy, there…

Once he was sure that Lyserg had righted himself, he let go of him, watching to see if he was still swaying.

You won’t lose her, Lyserg.  You just need to talk about what you want, what a romantic relationship between you two would mean.  I’m sure Jeanne would also be more than glad to have that conversation.

Faust cocked an eyebrow & smirked just the slightest bit.  ”If anything, it makes it more obvious when they so blatantly refuse to say the other’s name…”

Faust reached out and held Lyserg’s shoulder to keep him up. When he let go, Lyserg swayed slightly.

“I…I should talk to her. But…” Lyserg’s brows scrunched up in confusion.

“Did I say…it was Jeanne…?”

Lyserg searched frantically through his short-term memory—well, as frantically as he could, since he was impaired. Had he said Jeanne’s name…? He couldn’t recall, but honestly that didn’t mean anything right now.

“I think I…I can’t really remember if I did or not…”

Dishes.

his-waxen-wings:

Faust nodded slowly at the mention of Hao.  Even the slightest mention of his name set Lyserg on edge, so it wasn’t at all surprising that his inescapable presence was distressing the boy.  What shocked him more was that Lyserg actually admitted what was going on in his head.  Faust listened as the boy stumbled over his own words.  He seemed hesitant, pausing every few seconds, the shakiness brought on by his uncertainty making him nervously play with his feet.

Well…

Faust cocked his head to the side, smiling a little.

You did the hard part, taking that first step.  So you’re on the right track.  & it feels nice to know that she feels the same way about you, doesn’t it?

He left the thought hanging there for a moment, the edges of his mouth twitching as though they didn’t know whether to frown or to grin.

You… already protect her, I know.  What you need to ask yourself is how much you think has changed & then how much you want it to from here.

He tilted his head back to meet Lyserg’s eyes again, flashing him a small but reassuring smile.

What do you think?

Faust’s reassuring smile made Lyserg feel a little better, but the question he posed made Lyserg think hard.

“I…I don’t know how much it’s changed. We both feel the same way, but I haven’t had a chance to talk to her in private since I told her…. I think I’m… afraid of how it might change. I don’t want to…to lose her, in any way.”

But..what do I want from this?

Lyserg immediately flushed a bright red. He coughed to cover up his embarrassment. “I— I…just want to be with her—” He nearly banged his head against the counter at his words, for his mind was in the gutter and his words hadn’t helped.

Dishes.

his-waxen-wings:

Lyserg grew dejected at the doctor’s words, his face clouding over with something akin to remorse.  The source wasn’t perfectly clear at first, but as the boy started to explain himself, Faust understood right away.  He leaned against the counter a little, frowning as Lyserg dropped his eyes to the floor.

Yes, I know what it’s like to cling to habit…

He shook his head slowly & cleared his throat, pushing his voice to regain some of its firmness.  It had fallen so far, gotten so soft…  He needed it stronger or Lyserg wouldn’t hear, let alone listen.

It’s what we turn to when we seek comfort.  It’s only natural.

Faust tried to flash the boy a reassuring smile, nodding at him a little.

Just be more careful next time.

His voice fell again, gently this time as he sank back into his own thoughts.

Alcohol… solves nothing.

He sighed shortly & turned back to the sink, starting in again on the dishes.  He needed to occupy his fingers, distract his head.  He knew that drinking had never helped him.  It only amplified his sadness, forced him to stare it in the face & feel it hopelessly, helplessly as he drifted both away from & closer to himself at once.  It simply wasn’t the right path, & it looked as though Lyserg had stumbled down that same unpleasant road.  Faust took a breath & tilted his head to look at the boy, breaking the silence that had edged between them.

Lyserg… I know it’s not really my place, but if you want to talk it out with me, you can.  I’ll listen & we can try to put your mind at ease…

Lyserg gripped the plate tightly in his hands. He felt absolutely awful about what he had done, and he held back a sob.

“I…I know it doesn’t solve anything,” he said quietly. “I…I won’t do it again, ever.”

He stayed quiet for a moment longer before he began to wash the dishes once more. But when Faust spoke to him again, Lyserg looked sharply up at the doctor; such an action made him dizzy, and he blinked to try to somehow make himself feel more stable.

“Well….there’s Hao being Hao, and…” He looked away and realized that there wasn’t anything to lose in telling Faust about his girl troubles.

“I…um, confessed my feelings to someone, and…” He shuffled uncertainly. “She returned my feelings, but…I don’t really know…what to do. I mean, I want to protect her and keep her safe, and I’ll do that, but…I’ve never had a relationship before…. I don’t know how to handle this,” he admitted.

Dishes.

his-waxen-wings:

Faust gathered up more finished plates from the table & carried them back to the kitchen, carefully setting them down on the counter next to the others.  Lyserg had already started in on the dishes, but he seemed a little unsteady, both on his feet & in his motor control.  Faust watched him closely for a moment, sighing gently before taking another dishcloth & a plate.  He glanced at the boy out of the corner of his eye, washing the dish & speaking lowly.

You put alcohol in the eggnog, didn’t you.

He didn’t speak it as a question because he didn’t mean it as one.  He finished with the plate & rinsed it, putting it in the strainer, then took another one.

But you didn’t mean to have any.  You have little to no resistance to it.

Faust kept his eyes on the dishes as he worked at them, directing his speech to Lyserg without looking at him.

So you consumed it accidentally.  Which means you only spiked one of the pitchers.

The doctor sighed gently, finishing another plate & setting it down before turning to actually face the boy.

Lyserg, whatever made you think that was a good idea?

Lyserg continued to wash the dishes. When Faust came back into the room he tried to focus more so that he wouldn’t be quite so clumsy, but it was quite the challenge.

And then Faust spoke to him.

Guilt flooded Lyserg. Every word the doctor said was true, and Lyserg couldn’t believe himself. He’d gotten himself drunk…or at least partially. But all the same, he had done it, and he felt like a child that had been caught with his hand in the cookie jar. He lowered his face and avoided looking at Faust.

“Lyserg, whatever made you think that was a good idea?” 

At first, Lyserg had no idea why he had done it. But then he realized that of course he had done it for a reason.

“I…haven’t had too many Christmases with others,” he admitted. “My parents would always make two pitchers and do the same…. And I guess I figured that…”

He hesitated. He realized that he hadn’t been scrubbing the dishes since Faust had asked him that question, but he didn’t start cleaning again.

He looked down at his shoes. “I’ve been feeling…just stressed lately…and nervous…”